_____________________Eternal Summer;

fell asleep on the sofa right after i got back home today.
missed the pw convo..or... late by four hours.
this is really bad. i'm the least busy person in the whole group yet im doing the least job (well so far).

this has to be better, same goes for LIFE.

yitong says:
xinyan i think we'll see the sunrise haha

xinyan says:
i hope ><

yitong says:
haha as in, we do work all the way until sunrise lol

xinyan says:
...good point

basically there isn't anything worth looking forward to in life anymore.
feels kinda scary how i just lost all the motivation.
study, friends, guitar. everything.
and the damn schoolwork isn't keeping me going at all.

all of a sudden when i look around, i see people around me all with fulfilled life. be it fun or pain, tough or breezing. but mine, it's a blank one.

it's gone.

how?

:( i'm so lazy

at 21:04 sunday night, i realized i have two econs essay due tmr, undone.

xinyan said:
WHAT THE SHIT!
MY ECONS ESSAYS DUE TMR

w.ruoxi says:
you mean you all have to write out the essays?
then that's alot to do......

xinyan says:
YES
i rmb the teacher said whoever nvr do must give 10 dollars, but i didn't know it's due TMR

w.ruoxi says:
sigh
go and do now..

xinyan says:
do econs now. i can die
my brain is totally relax
last night still can, now cannot zzzzzzzzz

w.ruoxi says:
ok then you just hand in later

xinyan says:
have to pay 10 bucks

w.ruoxi says:
she wont be serious de

xinyan says:
she is
last lesson she checkedd one of our class test
need to draw a lot of graphs then every mistake pay 20 cents
like nvr mark E0, point of origin

w.ruoxi says:
(-.- emoticon)

xinyan says:
then she made one guy take down names and amount nxt lesson she collect

xinyan says:
HOW

w.ruoxi says:
do one essay then you pay $5..

LOL.

shit. gotta chiong econs essays now.

omg..crazy guy >_<

And as the world turns on and on,
Love is lost and love is won,
laughed and cried when we were young.
You went your own way,
I survived.
And did you ever see everything inside of me?

i hope i survive the rest of the week.

pw groupings out tmr, im so excited!!!! :DDDDD (yea right.)
5 items tmr (i love IPU...NOT)
chem class test on thurs
bio and econs lecture tests on friday

what a wonderful week, fufilling and entertaining, most importantly, torturing.

and there's a high chance that my PI draft'll get rejected tmr. zz.

then i shant blog anymore, cause that's like all that happened and will ever happen. wts.

真正的朋友，并不是在一起就有说不完的话题。而是即使沉默，也不会觉得尴尬。

read this from rx's blog and i can totally resonate with it.

i hate my inability to survive as an individual.

i really hate having to rely on people.

i hate how you dont care, but just make it look as if you do to make me feel uneasy.

i hate how i can actually dont give a damn, but can't help being bothered.

i hate sitting there like an idiot having nothing to say.

i want to end this, seriously. it's no big deal yet it's affecting me quite a lot. i wish i can just pull off the i dont bloody hell give a damn face. why did i even change myself for such pathetic reasons? im not going anymore. you can hold on to what you believe in, but you can't expect everyone to have the same belief as you do. and why do i even care what others think about me? they are not even my real friends. it might sound cruel/heartless but rx is right. i am just not your type of people, and thanks i have no will of changing myself just to fit into YOU. or maybe i tried, foolishly, but i am tired. it's as if trying to fit myself into a skin that is not even my shape/size. i feel so much pain attempting to peel off my own, and i think i'll be disgusted if i put on THAT skin.

oh wells there are so many things but they shant affect the way i am.

yq's songlist is so emo-ish.

so..bryan was asking me about my 3 whiteslips (to be) in a week.. was explaining to him my 3rd wslip will come from "modification" to school blouse.

after awhile....

xinyan: just because mine got seen -.-
bryan: your shirt got seen?
xinyan: shoelace
bryan: shoelace not supposed to get seen meh!?

...i give up

hmm..wonder how this day actually came about.

com sci seniors (well just the two of them actually) were so funny. and i was the one who couldn't hold back my laughters. rx you are quite pro. but in the end we kept pushing around about who to tell it, it actually started to sound real. and AH BOY looked more serious than expected :O and mr.serious actually only said "oh..so you all won't be coming anymore?"... but their reactions were extra nice provided that they didn't know it was a trick ._. im touched..

actually im not into april fool's at all.. but well..just happened that this year i got myself involved, so rx you are not that pro. now yq's angry. sorry :(

they all say people change fast in jc. now i think some changes might be necessary. maybe it's time for us to change some of our old ways of doing things. after all, now everyone's in a much more complicated environment that brings much more stress than before.

i never actually noticed my counter hit for today. anyway, it was just lameness. i feel like slapping myself for coming up with such useless things/unrealistic thoughts just to distract myself from the stress and boredom in school. and the worst is i know better than anyone else that how impossible it was. it still is and will always be, but i shall stop the stupid act.

thank you so much classmate, for enduring me.

bye nobita! i mean like, really, farewell.