i realized recently i've always been in long convos.
had this really really long conversion with FY last night. or was it last last night? never mind, my timing's all mixed up. we talked about limited topics but i felt that it was really a lot maybe because i was the one talking most of the time. typing i mean. and i regretted how fast people and things changed. i think it is really sad to end up like this with her. She was such a great friend, we did everything together, we swore to not smoke forever cos we both hated the smell of smoke, she said so firmly that she won't like a guy who's younger than her. we had so many promises and everything, and just in a blink everything changed. it was really saddening for me to read her blogpost about wanting to find another bf just to get over the ex. and that she now hides in the toilet to smoke, so that her mum will not realize.
then i told FY about him. it's been so long since i ever said anything about him. and even if i did, they were all covered in a few sentences and he is SO MUCH MORE. maybe FY's right, im just gonna regret for all my life if i don't tell him. but i don't see any chance if i tell him. so yea. let me suffer alone. and all the best for u, u know that i've always hoped for the best of u.
and there was the super long convo with weida just now. he was talking more but i feel quite good to be a listener. really worried for gy, maybe i should go visit him at the RPC, but it would be awkward wouldn't it. we were close in games online on phone but never in real life. but that doesnt mean i treasure him any less compare to a real life friend.
been rushing on hist pt since yesterday afternoon till now. never sleep. aah go everyone for math and everything. i think i need a little more faith for myself.
and thanks FY for the quotation, it didnt solve my problem but it warmed my heart. let me just believe that it was not wasted. that summer and every single one afterwards.
"原来不是爱情，只是习惯."
"你不觉得习惯是爱情的更高境界吗?"
