it sucks. like hell.
i took her as such a good friend.
no more. and now all i want is to get back my input and draw a line between us.
hate myself for being such an idiot.
never put so much trust on anyone, xinyan. NEVER.
it tells me not to trust you, you, and you.
school holiday has started. nobody seem to care about the damn rs project. i care because i know well enough it is why i can't go back to china. and why i can't see him, maybe for the last time. you all just have fun disappearing. to me it is like RUINNING MY LOVE OF SIX YEARS HELLO?
FUCK. fuck off, everything. fuck you.
today jialei was saying that if we finish our RS experiments early then maybe we can still go back china for the holiday. cos we can do the report online.
and SHIT I AM MOVED.
but i think i probably won't.
although i know that their exams end by early june
never mind.
yay posting problem solved. thank you http://bloggerstatusforreal.blogspot.com
and there are lots of useful info abt blogger in that blog as well =)
so okay. 13th May was mother's day! and cow's day!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIALEI!
haha.
coming bdaes: jolyn&yunhan's
是不是人活着,就是为了让生活和记忆折磨?
那年冬天,那个下雪的晚上,记忆和那晚的寒风一样让人刻骨铭心.我想我永远也忘不了了.这才是最深的罪孽吧,我从没刻意去铭记,也从没尝试着忘记.但在一切都成了定局的时候,在所有过错都再也无法被弥补的时候,那一刻,或者说一切一切,都永远的留在我的记忆里.这是一种毛骨悚然的感觉.好象是些微不足道的事,但在某个时候,某个很平常的念头就有可能让你想起来.而想起后,就是无穷无尽的悔恨.
这些记忆,他们永远提醒着我,关于我的罪恶,关于我的无能为力.
那感觉是这么强烈,甚至我害怕再看到雪.不敢再回到那个地方,更没有胆量去回想什么.那感觉让我一个人在夜深的时候偷偷的哭.寂寞的时候不敢发呆.深切的感受到犯了错却无力挽回是多么的可悲.
就像现在一样.
你还在天上看着我吗?
你还爱我吗?
是因为你,我才狠狠的发誓再也不相信神的存在.因为我一千次一万次为你的祷告,最后都仿佛被扔进了无底洞.
可也是因为你,我又那么讽刺的希望天堂真的存在.
有好久没想起了,也有好久没这么痛了.
因为这个我注定要一辈子对不起的人.
get outta those already.
study study study.
survive till thursday.
internet is finally back.
eoi's here too.
it's been so long since i last post here, i knew a lot of things happened these days but somehow there's no way and also no point tracing them back. what's gone is gone and it will never come back.
